For quite a while, it seemed like the dining room was on its way out.
Open floor plans took over, kitchen islands got bigger, and eat-in kitchens became the norm. Then 2020 happened, and many of the dining rooms that remained became home offices, classrooms, or some combination of the two.
That’s why I find it interesting that we’re starting to talk about dining rooms again.
Somewhere Between Formal and Forgotten
Our house was built in the early 2000s, when many Arizona homes still included what we usually called the front room. It was part sitting room, part dining area, and slightly reminiscent of the traditional parlor.
Our house also has plenty of the openness that became so popular. The kitchen connects to the family room, and there’s enough space between them that we had another table there for a while.
Eventually, we removed it. We weren’t using it enough to justify having two separate eating areas because when we sat down for dinner, we used the dining room.
And we still do.
Not just on Thanksgiving or when company comes over. We eat there almost every night.
The Part I Don’t Want to Lose
Years ago, we made a conscious effort to have dinner together as a family as often as we could. It doesn’t happen perfectly. Someone has somewhere to be, Dad works late, or life gets in the way because that’s what life does.
But more often than not, we sit down and eat together.
I don’t create a holiday tablescape every night. Dinner usually goes in the middle of the table—often on the Lazy Susan so everyone can reach it. I keep a runner down the center and use placemats and coasters, but that has as much to do with protecting the furniture as creating any sort of formal dining experience.
We talk about our day. Someone brings up something random, and it turns into a whole conversation. We laugh, tell ridiculous jokes, and sometimes discuss absolutely nothing memorable.
The important part is that we’re sitting together.
I hope that one day, when my children have homes and families of their own, sitting down for dinner feels normal to them because it was normal here.
The Kitchen Counter Isn’t the Enemy
I also love having stools at the kitchen counter. It’s a great place for one of the kids to do homework, for someone to talk to me while I’m cooking, or for a friend to sit while we catch up. And if somebody wants a bowl of cereal in the morning, I certainly don’t expect everyone to assemble ceremoniously in the dining room.
But the kitchen counter and the dining table don’t do quite the same job.
At the counter, we’re usually coming and going. One person is sitting while another is standing. Somebody is cooking or washing dishes, and we’re generally facing the kitchen instead of one another.
At the table, we sit down, face each other, and do the same thing at the same time.
A kitchen counter gives us a place to sit. A dining table gives us a place to come together.
A Room That Is Meant to Be Used
If the dining room is coming back, I hope we aren’t returning to the version that sits untouched while everyone waits for a holiday important enough to use it.
Let the chairs be comfortable. Mix the furniture. Put art on the walls. Use deeper paint or wallpaper if that’s your thing. Set the table simply—or don’t. Eat takeout there on a Tuesday.
Use the room.
Not every home needs a formal dining room, but I do think there is value in having a place where everyone can stop moving in different directions and sit down together.
Somewhere between passing the food, talking about our days, and laughing at one another’s ridiculous jokes, we’re creating the ordinary moments our family will remember.
Do you still use your dining room for everyday meals, or has it taken on another purpose?
